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Jess Ho
On soy

On soy

and crimes

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Jess Ho
Jun 16, 2022
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Jess Ho
On soy
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I judge a person by how they use soy sauce. Much like how chefs get offended when diners add salt to a dish before tasting it, there’s a tiny part of me that dies every time I see someone dump soy on a plate of steamed dumplings, fried rice, stir fry…fucking anything, really.

I can genuinely say, hand on heart, that I have never touched the soy bottle in a restaurant before. If I am meant to have some with my dish, it’s already poured for me. I love the instruction at the counter of Minamishima when Kochi leans in after placing nigiri in front of you and says, “No soy.”

When people tell me their red flags are a lack of emotional maturity, being misogynists, listening to Joe Rogan, not having savings or not having a bed frame, I respond with, “If they soy their food, they’re blocked.”

Many horny people have changed their eating habits because of that red flag.

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